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Forget The Bear — Luigi’s Hot!
For millions of women, Mangione puts the man in manifesto
Girrrlll, I was gonna choose the bear, but that shooter is fine!
The “I choose the bear” crowd took a significant blow this week as suspected murderer and vigilante heartthrob Luigi Mangione was taken into custody.
Social media is exploding with female admiration for the dapper gunman, applauding his steely determination to stand up for the oppressed — not to mention his six-pack abs and Hollywood grin.
Mangione’s three-page manifesto nods to The Unabomber, Ted Kaczynski — but the student has become the teacher.
Ted might’ve known a thing or two about mail bombs, but what he didn’t know about serial killer dating is that he could’ve benefited greatly from a gym membership, a haircut, and a splash of cologne.
A ramshackle hut in the woods can get dank and musty, but you can still make room for a Peleton. No excuses.
Ted K. could have gone from a mail bomb to a male bomb.
By contrast, Luigi Mangione is dancing the line between loony and hottie, destroying…
