“Maybe They’re Not A Real Alcoholic?”
And other myths that AA perpetuates
I’ve been to enough AA meetings (thousands) to know that if someone quits drinking without the program and an AA member hears about it, the first thing they will say is, “They must not have been a real alcoholic.”
I used to buy into that nonsense, but the truth is that most people who quit drinking do it on their own.
That fact is not something you’re likely to hear at an AA meeting.
Most Common Ways People Quit Drinking:
- Cold Turkey / On Their Own (a.k.a. “Natural Recovery”):
Percentage: Roughly 50–60% of people who quit drinking long-term do it without formal treatment or AA.
These individuals may use personal motivation, lifestyle changes, support from friends/family, or self-help resources.
2. Support groups (like Alcoholics Anonymous, SMART Recovery, etc):
Percentage: About 20–30% of people who successfully quit long-term credit their support group as key.
3. Professional Treatment (Inpatient/Outpatient Rehab, Therapy, Medications):
Percentage: Around 10–20% use formal treatment programs, often alongside or following a crisis, court order, or health issue.
Includes rehab, counseling, and medications like naltrexone or disulfiram.
4. Online Communities & Apps (more recent trend):
Difficult to track exact stats, but growing rapidly, especially among people who identify as “sober curious” or want anonymity.
It is true that of the 50–60% of people who quit without AA, not all of them had a life-threatening alcohol problem.
However, a large percentage of those who quit by themselves meet every bit of the criteria that AA proposes to make one a “real alcoholic.”
And…there’s the rub.
There’s no such thing as a “real alcoholic,” only people with varying degrees of dependency on alcohol.
There’s a spectrum of use and abuse that is generally progressive, but there is no defined criterion — medical or otherwise — that makes one an “alcoholic.”
Of course, you will also be told in AA that, “Only you can determine whether or not you’re an alcoholic.”
Hmmm.
What other disease, disorder, or illness do we instruct people to self-diagnose?
I’ll wait.
“Only you can determine whether or not you’re an alcoholic.”
An adjustment could be made to that misleading statement that would clear things up nicely….
“If you’ve determined that alcohol is causing problems in your life, only you can do something about it.”
Forget the labels. Don’t overthink it, and don’t beat yourself up.
If alcohol is doing more harm than good in your life — that’s a problem.
There’s no need to slap a label on yourself to fix it.
