Men Are From Bars — Women Have No Penis

A practical guide to understanding why we don’t understand each other

Men are stupid.

We just are. At least when compared to women.

The contrast is less obvious if you compare us to something else—like a fire hydrant or lawn mower.

We don’t think like women. I’ve tried to put myself in their shoes and imagine what it would be like to think like them, but when I do that, it hurts me.

Not emotionally, but physically.

If I were ever asked to give myself an aneurysm, that’s probably the first place I would start. Hopefully, that situation never comes up.

I’m not a clinical psychologist (you may have connected those dots), but I know how men think — and it’s not good.

Women would give us a lot more credit if they only knew what we had to suppress to walk around like functioning members of society. Men always want credit for something they should be doing anyway, so that seems like a lot to ask.

The bottom line is that men play checkers while women play chess.