One BJ Per Week Could Save Your Marriage

Blow new life into your relationship

I never want to speak for “all men,” because, you know, all men are different, and pigeonholing half the planet's population with a specific characteristic is the height of ignorance. We all know that.

However, after years of exhaustive research (talking with dudes) and knowing how marriage inevitably becomes a monotonous dance of soul-crushing honey-do lists and boring sex, I believe I’ve pinpointed the one thing that could save 93% of marriages from becoming the miserable charade that most marriages are destined to become. (That’s 93% of the 50% of marriages that don’t end in divorce.)

The blowjob.

Typically, the BJ occurs when you first start dating. It’s hard to quantify how much men revere this simple act, but I have yet to meet a man who doesn’t put it right up there with the Super Bowl or a Philly cheesesteak.

Sadly, it soon becomes something he can’t get all the time (like a cheesesteak), or worse, something he can’t even get once a year (like the Super Bowl).

I never realized how phallic that was before