Why I Prefer SMART Recovery To AA

PS It’s just a personal preference, relax

I wanted AA to work for me — I really did.

Fuck. I mean, I must have — right?

After many relapses (I honestly lost count), I was given a litany of reasons for my mounting failure in AA by other members.

They told me things like I “was sabotaging myself,” or I was “not praying enough,” or that I just needed to “let go and let God.”

In retrospect — now that I’ve been properly diagnosed and prescribed meds for a mood disorder (cyclothymia) — I’ve come to realize that most of that advice was well-meaning (I think?) but way off base.

At least in terms of my own mental health and sobriety.

I went to hundreds of AA meetings in my life (maybe thousands), and I did everything AA suggested.

I got a sponsor, worked the 12 steps multiple times, got a service job making coffee, and attended 90 meetings in 90 days.

I also read the AA big book cover to cover more times than I care to remember.